Go Time

The last month has been filled with challenges, insights, and loads of affirmation about which path I should take. God shone a new light on 20 years of rejection - amazing. Stepping out in faith yielded loads of affirmation; I have been challenged to love and give unselfishly, and to rely on God to breathe life into his project (the book and tour). I was hearing His voice, seeing His hand, and swimming in affirmation!

Now, there is quiet - and not restful quiet either. I’m anxious and restless, and can’t seem to sit still for 5 minutes. It’s a little disturbing. I run to movies or online games… anything to hide. What am I running from?

I was confident about what God’s asked me to do. He confirmed it, and I became even more confident. Then came the work of it … suddenly I questioned it all again.

I don’t know how to start! I don’t know what I’m doing!
I’m going to mess it up! I’ll look like a fool! People will judge me!
Who do I think I am to pull this off?!

Other challenges – trials, if I may – have joined in to shake my confidence.

  • our vacant property is not selling, but it is costing money every month, and so is the debt associated with renovating it. Financial squeeze. … Is it supposed to sell? What’s the plan, God?
  • It might have been a test or distraction, but I could have taken a news writing job – full time, sounds exciting, totally could do it.. but it’s not God’s plan for me right now.
  • And there are other things that pull at my heart, making me ask, “God! What is the plan?!”

Then this morning I came across these verses:

“So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.
You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. For,
   “In just a little while, 
   he who is coming will come 
   and will not delay.”

   “But my righteous one will live by faith. 
   And I take no pleasure 
   in the one who shrinks back.”

Hebrews 10:35-38 (NIV)

“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.”

James 1:2-4 NLT

I think the time of basking in affirmation has passed because I have stopped moving. I have stopped walking in faith, and have instead begun to ‘shrink back’. Makes sense then, that I wouldn’t have any peace about it!

No more.

It’s go time.

Time to patiently endure whatever is going on (with the joy of knowing God is at work and will use it to purify me and conform me to His image)
Time to WORK and MOVE forward into the plan God already gave me.
Time to ‘trust in the Lord’ and ‘continue to do God’s will’

No shrinking back. No turning back.

Lord, I’m scared. But you are with me, so who could be against me? Who shall I fear? You made all that is, and you are with me. Lord, thank you so much for giving me tasks that are bigger than me. I can’t do them without you. Thank you so much that it really is you working here. Thank you for building my faith, and growing my endurance. I choose to consider these troubles ‘joy’. Help me to remember that! Lord, let me see your hand and sense your presence again. Use my life and words to build your kingdom I pray. Amen.



MTJ said...

Hi Kim,

As I trust God's direction and guidance, am I apprehensive, worried or fearful? At times, Yes to all three. I consider my alternatives and with joy I cling to God. He is not my last option, He is my only option (though others may offer themselves to me).

God is with you Kim. Hear the words of Jesus echo in your spirit when He says, "Fear not". Trust Him with joy and gladness. There is a perfecting taking root in you as you undergo testing. Let patience have her perfect work in you.

Trust in the Lord.

Blessings and peace.


BTW:I've received my copy of Beauty in Darkness. Thank You.

Sharon Kirby said...

Such an inspiring word, Kim. My friends and I are always talking about this issue - WHAT is the plan, Lord? You've given me much to think about.

I'm encouraged by knowing that you deal with some of the "stuff" I do! (I'm sorry that you do, but you know what I mean!)

Trust and go - kinda sounds like a good game plan to me!!


The Unknowngnome said...


From The Heart Online said...

MTJ - your encouraging words moisten my eyes :) Thank you for speaking God's truth into my life.

Thank you too, for your order. I hope you enjoy the book, and are touched by what is in it.

I don't know if I've mentioned it, but all profits from book sales are donated to Gospel For Asia. So you're also reaching the lost for Jesus! Thank you!

From The Heart Online said...

Sharon - I know what you mean :) It's reassuring that we're not the only one's that struggle. Sometimes it's easy to believe that others have it all together, but it's just not true. No one does. (at least not all the time!)

Unknowinggnome - thanks for reading :)

Amy Sullivan said...

"Do not throw away your confidence..." great verse and I"m not sure I've ever read it.

Love the way you just throw it all out there and share your heart.

From The Heart Online said...

Amy - I love the way God's Word really is alive. Even through words on a page, He meets us where we are, in that moment. Wow.

Stephanie said...

Thanks so much for your example of faithfulness, Kim. You truly are an inspiration to me. Much love and blessings!


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